As we grow up from stage to stage, we realize that this world has alot of challenges. Young people are exposed to so much and yet with very little guidance on how to manage particular situations in life.When young children are in primary school, they always come home in the evening and those who are lucky will have a chance to share with their parents about what happened during the day, they will speak about everything and anything, and their parents will listen and guide. But many other parents have no time to spend and listen to what the young children have to say, so the children will keep quite about everything no matter how had it may be.Today there is alot of sexual abuse and exploitation everywhere starting from home, to on the way to school, and at school itself. The victims are many times threatened not to report and yes, they decide to Keep quite. But for how long can one stand sexual abuse!!!
If we give young people an opportunity to speak up and an assurance that they are protected, much of the abuse would stop. But how will it stop when even the mother at home doesn’t know that her brother is sexually abusing her daughter!!If you even give a chance to your daughter to tell you what’s happening in her life, you may hate your self for letting her down for so long.
Two years ago while attending the 1st International Language, Gender and Leadership Network conference here in Uganda, I was so touched by a University Student who could not speak openly about her challenges as a girl but when asked to draw anything she would love to communicate, she drew a picture of a girl hiding her face in her laps and crying…While drawing, I realised that she was feeling alot of pain and almost breaking down. I immediately imagined what millions of girls go through at University where parents never bother go ask if all is well.
At that time everyone thinks that this girl has grown, she is a University and so all is well. But is it really well!!!Alot of attention is given when girls are in primary and secondary school. Many times it’s also not enough because many young girls are abused but can’t report for one reason or another.
While this girl was drawing, I imagined how much she is keeping at heart. How often do we ask our children to write or draw anything for us as parents if they can’t speak about it!! Do you know how much you could find out as a result!!Many parents say that they are shy and can’t talk to their daughters about things related to sex and how to keep themselves safe, but do you know what the world is telling your daughter!!
When I approached the Girl after the session to tell me more about her drawing, she told me how there is so much sexual abuse at University but yet they have no one to tell or report to. Many times they are even raped by their so called friends but they fear to report or be laughed at by other students. She told me how many girls prefer to commit suicide since they think that even their parents don’t care about them.
She told me about the selling of marks by lectures in exchange for sex. To the extent that even those that have got their marks genuinely will be threatened by lecturers demanding for sex before they give them those marks. What an insane world we live in!!! I saw pain in her eyes. I saw much pain while she talked about the parents not caring enough about what happens to these girls at campus. She talked about the fact that today many people are reaching out to girls in secondary schools and building their capacity but very few think about university students.
There is alot of depression among the university students that the world can never imagine. My interaction with other university students after that have confirmed this. There are no psychosocial services available for these young people. How about the ministry of education thinks about this so critically.Many university students will fail not because they are stupid but because they refused to have sex with the so called lecturer. We can change this if we choose to be supportive to this group of young people.
My work with young adolescents through Raising Teenagers Uganda and Girls Not Brides Uganda has shown me that we have alot to benefit if we reach out to young people and empower them with knowledge and skills to sustain themselves. If we give them the confidence and encourage them to open up and report cases of abuse and exploitation.If we involve them in our programming and implementation.
We must appreciate that everyone has something to say, if we give them an opportunity to speak, they will talk, if we allow them to communicate in the language they understand best, we shall get to know the truth that we have been missing for year. They can draw, they can write, they can sing, they can act.
Find the most appropriate way to get your child to open up.Give her an audience. Be ready to listen no matter how diffult it may be. Offer the guidance needed and support your child all the way. Don’t stop at paying the tuition, it’s not enough to educate a child that is broken into pieces.
Next Month, I will be speaking at the University of Nottingham in England.Speaking about my would with adolescent girls and Young Women in Ugandan communities. I will be communicating Global challenges that are limiting girls from fulfilling their potential.This will be at the 3rd International Language Gender and Leadership Network Conference. We all have a role to play in order to see the change we what to see in this world.
hopenankunda 